Let’s turn on the juice and see what shakes loose

Happy Halloween, my pretties!

Remember a couple years ago when I told you how much I hated dressing up in costume for Halloween? Moral of the story, getting creative with your makeup and sticking with comfortable clothes are always the way to go, especially in Cleveland.

After going strong with cat makeup and a vast array of kitty ears for the last two years, I finally branched out with a new costume for a Halloween party this weekend, and it was totally worth it.

So, what, you ask, did I decide to go as?

(I mean, it’s pretty obvious…)



That’s right! After watching a 10-minute makeup tutorial, I took an old black-and-white striped dress I already had, mixed my palest shade of foundation with some white face paint [fun fact: mixing with foundation stops cheap Halloween makeup from cracking/caking], piled on the purple smokey eye and various green yuckiness, and voilà. Oh, I also added approximately five pounds of baby powder to my hair to get it white at the roots [only mildly regretting that decision 3 days after the fact], and sprayed some green hairspray on the ends.


I was so pleased with how it turned out. A few friends and I just watched the 1988 cult classic the previous weekend, so the little details [like the rotting green around his mouth] were fresh in my mind. I was a bit nervous the striped dress (instead of his iconic blazer) would look stupid, but it actually worked out really well — I already had that dress in my donation pile due to a small stain I couldn’t get out, so I dirtied it up a little more and made it work. It was easy, fun, and the people who got it loved it.

[My only regret: falling asleep without washing my hair. It is now the consistency of straw since the baby powder sucked all the oil from it. But it’s not like I needed an excuse to not wash my hair for a week, lmao.]


PRO TIP: To elevate your Beetlejuice game, get yourself a Lydia Deetz to go along with your costume!

Halloween 2k17 – success ✔️

Top five reasons why Halloween costumes are the actual worst

Happy Halloween!

What a wonderful time of the year… scary movies on every station; parties where everyone gets to dress up like someone they’re not; and it’s perfectly acceptable to scare the shit out of children. At the ripe old age of 25 (in two short weeks), I’ve finally come to the realization that purchasing actual costumes for Halloween is complete and utter bullshit. Why, you ask?

  1. The price of a good costume. You can always tell when someone gets a costume or wig at Walmart versus one of those fancy Halloween stores. If you want to look hot, you’ll have to pay for it.
  2. They’re a one-time wear. So on top of spending all that money to look good, chances are you aren’t going to reuse the costume for a very long time, if not ever.
  3. Does anyone really look good in polyester? ‘Cause that’s what most of those crap costumes are made out of. Itchy, uncomfortable, unflattering, and cheap looking. Halloween should be about having fun and being comfortable in something you wouldn’t normally wear. Not being in something you can’t wait to change out of.
  4. October 31st in Cleveland is cold. Not an ideal time of year to be down with the “sexy” costume of anything. It’s fucking chilly out there, peeps! And more likely than not it’s going to rain on you and all your slutty friends.



  5. Shopping online for clothes is the worst. Shopping online for Halloween costumes are a true nightmare. You really think you’re going to look like the person modeling that thing? Here’s a fun fact: they have binder clips pinching the back of their costumes to make it look more form-fitting in photographs.

My solution this year for my new-found disdain for Halloween costumes: make-up. Whether you’re drawing an animal face on, a zombie, sugar skull, or a skeleton… you can literally wear whatever you want and it still looks like you put in a ton of effort. Look good and feel comfortable! Halloween make-up is not that tricky, it just looks like it is. Just google it, man.


Have fun and be safe, everyone!