“Happy New Year!!” She exclaims, 45 days into 2018. What can I say. I guess I’ve been busy *shrugs*

The roller coaster that was 2017 ended on an extremely high note, and I’m hopeful for what 2018 has in store. My goal, at least during this tax season, is to use some of my tax return on the purchase of a functioning laptop so I don’t have to sneak around on my free time at work to post something. Let’s be honest, my first drafts usually start on my phone anyway *shrugs again*

So, if you use Facebook at all, you know there is an “On This Day” tab where you can see your Facebook activity on that same day, years in the past. For someone who is an avid Facebook user, this can either be full of really fond memories you can share, or it can be a really cruel page filled with things you’d rather forget. If you’re like me (i.e. never post anything on Facebook and use it purely to creep), this section is usually barren and/or filled with cryptic statuses and song lyrics from a decade ago when you thought people actually cared.

Yesterday being Valentine’s Day and all, I got this (kinda sick?) idea to check out my Facebook memories On *This* particular Day.

Spoiler alert, there wasn’t much there. I guess I never had any exciting Valentine’s Days via Facebook? Entirely for the best, I’m sure. However, there was one post I made on this day, six years ago, that I’ve been thinking about ever since I stumbled back upon it. It read, “Always want what you can’t have. Never what you can.”

Now on V-Day 2012, I am pretty sure I was single. This was after my high school boyfriend, but before the post-college one (yes, my former suitors have now been generalized into these two very broad groups). I’m not sure how my 21-year-old self would have interpreted this statement, since I don’t even remember posting it or what prompted me to do so at 11:40 PM on Valentine’s Day; but I know how my 27-year-old self understands this statement today.

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There are a lot of things we say we want, that we can have if we were motivated enough. You say you want a nice body, but you’re not willing to discipline yourself in the kitchen and at the gym to achieve one. You say you want a quality significant other, but you push all the good ones away in favor of the assholes. You say you want that nice car, but you’re not willing to stop spending all your money at the mall or the bar to save up for one. Most of what we say we want can be 100% attainable if we just shifted our priorities. Most people would rather just be unhappy and complain, rather than go out and get it. [Side note for all of you thinking, “but I want this person who doesn’t want me???” let me present you with this mind-blowing thought… if they don’t want you, then trust me, you don’t want them either!]

The truth in what we really want lie in the things we’re willing to sacrifice to get it. If you’re not willing to make the sacrifices, then you probably didn’t want it as bad as you think you did.

The only “wants” I hope to have in life are the unattainable… (likeeeee the ability to teleport, for instance) because everything else I’ve already wanted I’ve surrounded myself with.

Maybe I am over simplifying this. I’ve been told Scorpios are very black-and-white.