I’ve always wanted a lover with a gold phallus

It’s been a while since I’ve done an astrology post. But with tomorrow’s new moon in Aquarius, I stumbled across this article from Elephant Journal that shared a rather interesting story about the events taking place tomorrow. Along with the new moon occurs the conjunction of the constellations Osiris and Isis. According to the article, it’s considered an “extremely rare celestial occurrence for Isis and Osiris to conjunct on a new moon and it signifies a vital and essential phase of our soul evolution and our relationship with our twin flame.”

The history of Isis and Osiris is one of the most notable stories in Egyptian mythology. Apparently they were twins fathered by Geb, the earth god and Nut, the sky goddess. The two were born with a deep connection to each other, and became this power couple that ruled over Egypt. Well, they also had a brother named Set who was kind of pissed off at all the attention Osiris and Isis were getting and decided he would murder his bro Osiris in retaliation. Not only did he murder Osiris, but he chopped him up in pieces and scattered them across Egypt.

Isis, in her deep love and connection with Osiris, searches tirelessly for every single piece. Eventually she is able to put him back together, as she finds every piece except for his, well, man piece. She then mummifies him (thus he becomes the first mummy), and decides to give him a golden wang so that she could birth his child.

The significance with Isis and the current twin flame energies is that she shows us the power and force of her feminine energy when she set her mind on retrieving, repairing and healing her loved one’s body and soul.

Wild story, but a deep significance for tomorrow when the two meet again in the sky. As any new moon occurs, it is a time for new beginnings and for us to plant seeds for the future. With the addition of the Isis/Osiris conjunction, “anyone who is involved with a twin flame will have been feeling the strength and intensity of this brewing energy.” If we are with our twin flame, or mirror soul, tomorrow should be an interesting day. I definitely recommend taking the time to read this article [New Moon in Aquarius: The Time is right for a Rare Twin Flame Conjunction] if you’re interested in this stuff. And for more on the New Moon in Aquarius (and a breakdown of every astrological event this month), check out my friend’s site AstroLuminus. I just wanted to share the story of the gold peen with you.

If you ask me, I think she couldn’t find his real junk on purpose.

I totally forgot to put a title on this.

Well… it’s that time of year again. Another birthday looming on the horizon. Another year older. Arguably, it’s been a great year. Better than most. But 25 just sounds… so old. I don’t know if I’m having what you’d call a quarter-life crisis, because I’m totally stoked at where I am at this point… but, like, damn. A quarter of a century? Really? I’ve been here that long?

It’s wildly appropriate that I stumbled across this instagram page a couple of days ago. Created by Samantha Jayne, “Quarter Life Poetry” is just what I need to read this week to realize I’m not actually alone in feeling the way that I do.


Sidenote: I got a cat and his name is Charles Barkley and he wears a bowtie and he’s the shit. This poem rang the most true.


Ok, no, this one rang the most true. Because, food.




I’ve been on this particular juice cleanse for about 2 years now.

And for all my weirdos out there, the New Moon in Scorpio will peak at 12:47 PM EST tomorrow (11/11/15). So, not only is there a “holy portal” opening numerically with repeating 11s, but astrologically, we will experience a gate opening for new beginnings. This energy lets us dive deep into our emotions and desires to get us closer to where we want to be. Fuck yeah. Accept what brought you here and be at peace with where you are. Set intentions for where you want to go. At least the universe has my back just in time for the birthday!

rainy saturdayz

It’s okay if something doesn’t go exactly the way you planned. In case you haven’t already figured it out; the things you want and deserve the most usually come to you in ways you least expect. It’s going to be a journey if it’s truly worth it. Keep the faith, even through all the bumps along the way. If it’s what you really want, keep believing that the universe will respond. It’s going to manifest itself to you. One way or another. Don’t ever lose hope.

And if all else fails, just keep reminding yourself that mercury is in retrograde and everything will end up sorting itself out once the universe gets its shit together. !!!!! 😉


Checking in


After a long, hot summer full of new beginnings [in my career], planning overload [for bachelorette and surprise birthday parties], and finally getting to be the maid of honor in a beautiful wedding… I finally feel like I have a life back! Summer is officially over in Cleveland, wildly apparent in the 60 degree weather and continuous rain we’ve had all weekend, and football season starts tomorrow–my favorite time of the year. Now that everything has calmed down, I’m also contemplating whether or not I should get a cat…but more on that later.

Tonight we experience a solar eclipse and new moon in Virgo (which happens to be my moon sign), and the most important thing I can say about this is, When you are needless, you are free.” So, let go of all that shit that’s been holding you down and embrace your inner strength and new beginnings! Without realizing the cosmic significance of today, I stumbled across this quote earlier and now see how applicable and appropriate it is to share:


Hopefully you’ll get to hear more from me now that the busiest most fun summer of my life has come to an end!!!

Strawberry Moons

Dear Cleveland,

It’s the first of June. It’s 50 degrees out and I have a beach volleyball game tonight. COULD YOU NOT?

Your good friend,


So, despite this lackluster weather (then again, what do you expect in Cleveland…), if you’re sensing all the people around you are acting batshit crazy, you’re not alone. Tomorrow, June 2, is another full moon… and not just any full moon. This one is called a “strawberry moon.” Hold on. Don’t get too excited. The moon won’t be pink (which would actually be really cool), it’s only called that because this particular full moon tells farmers that fruit [specifically, strawberries] are ready to be picked. Sorry to disappoint, but this full moon should be pretty interesting, regardless.

Full moons always create closure while pulling us into a balancing act between two signs of the zodiac. The featured signs tomorrow are the sun in Gemini, opposite moon in Sagittarius. Through this “tug-of-war” between the two signs, a few different things will come into play:

Sagittarius: will give you the energy and the will to go out and seek the thrill of the unknown. This sign is all about discovery and adventure, more concerned with the big picture than all the details along the way. Which counteracts with Gemini…

Gemini: like Sag, Gemini likes to be on the go, but it favors stopping to gather as much information as it can along the way. These two combined will no doubt give you a desire to go out, but there will also be factors pushing you to learn. Gemini rules the mind and how we communicate.

Mercury: rules Gemini, and we’re still in a retrograde until June 11. The full moon is a good time to readjust how we think and communicate, as the retrograde tends to get in the way of that.

Mars: the energy planet for this full moon. He will fuel energy and push us to get what we want. This may happen too aggressively, so be careful. You’ll feel like a risk-taker during this time and that’s okay – use it to get what you want done.

It’ll be a time of risks, change, and reality checks. It’s also a good time to release negative mental patterns, ideas, beliefs, and ways of thinking that no longer serve you, and to keep your mind open to new opportunities or understandings of the world around you. Good luck out there.

In other news, this month marks the one year anniversary of kcincleveland! It’s been a crazy and interesting and fun year, but more on that later. Working on some new things for you all, so if you’re reading this, stay tuned and THANK YOU!


kc goes crazy

Wisdom tells me I am nothing. Love tells me I am everything. Between the two my life flows.

-Nisargadatta Maharaj

Hi, um, YES.

The full moon in Scorpio over the weekend had this double Scorpio thoroughly off of her rocker. Before I had any clue a full moon was approaching (let alone one in Scorpio), someone asked me if I took speed prior to going out Friday night. Mind you, I was completely sober when I was asked. I felt hyperactive—equally embracing and also reeling over all these feelings I had about everything going on in my life. I just felt off all weekend. Not in a bad way, just in a weird way. Initially, I credited it to the fact that I do have a lot going on in my life currently. However, soon enough I realized I could thank the universe (at least partly) for causing my crazy to hit overdrive. The full moon in Scorpio is always an emotionally-charged one, and all I can say is the experience, followed by my awareness of the situation, was fucking cathartic.

[Side note: If you don’t know what I mean by being a “double Scorpio,” it means both my sun sign (aka, the sign you probably consider yourself) and my rising sign are Scorpio… making me more intense than your average Scorpio. I’m also a Virgo moon. Any full or new moon in your sign (sun, rising or moon) causes you to experience the event more intensely than any of the other signs do. Oh btw, I buy into the actual study of all this crap now. Your natal chart is everything… if you haven’t tried this yet, go here and figure that shit out. Learn something about yourself. Let the universe put you in your place for a change.]


I read today that Scorpio is considered the all-or-nothing sign. It’s alarming how many times I have expressed that mentality to my friends and family over the years, down to describing my preference in pizza toppings. (I want either plain cheese or full on supreme. Nothing in between.) I’m all or nothing in relationships too—both romantic and platonic. Either you’re there for me or you’re not. And if I sense in any capacity that you’re only half-in, then I’m all out. There is no grey area for me, ever. I either want it or I don’t, I love it or I hate it, I’m completely content or utterly dissatisfied. I had no idea this was a character trait of my sign until I read it here today while preparing this post.

In the wake of some major changes looming on the horizon for me, it’s also a good time to remind everyone that Mercury goes into retrograde May 18th. I’m hoping I’ll have my shit together and all tucked away before that since a retrograde is not the best time to enter into new contracts, relationships, etc. I’m keeping the faith, though, that retrograde or not, I have the ability to turn what I want into reality.

According to astrologer Molly Hall, “Instead of checking out, [Scorpios] gain soul power by withstanding, and being creative where we can, in the face of adversity. True confidence emerges when there’s nothing to fear within or without.” Ya heard?

In other news, I joined a summer volleyball league yesterday. I figure, I can keep complaining, year after year, about how much I miss playing, or I can actually do something about it. It should be a fun time with friends and a great way to get outside and stay active this summer! Hopefully this summer will hold a lot of new adventures… I’m going into it with an open mind and with the mindset that I can sleep when it’s winter.


Good to see you, Spring!

March 20, 2015: You may think it’s only the first day of Spring. [Which, btw… YAY / FINALLY. Someone plz give mother nature the memo, though… it’s still kinda cold here in CLE]. But in fact, so, so much more is going on right now. In addition to the vernal equinox, and it being *Friday,* today we experience a Total Solar Eclipse and a New Moon in Pisces. Eclipses are rarely total, and Pisces energy encourages us to dream and vision what we can contribute to create the world we wish to inhabit, so your emotions might feel like they’re on overdrive today especially. On a positive note, during this time your insight will be sound and intuition will prevail. Just embrace what you feel and don’t let worry take over–past decisions and regrets may cloud your thoughts, and as long as you are aware that you need to stay in the present, you’ll be fine.

Look inward. Reflect, accept, and move forward. Do something nice for yourself today. Do something nice for another today. Be the amazing person that you already know you are 😊

And if all else fails, just remember the days are getting even longer!

Bonus: Stumbled across these amazing ‘Spring Cleaning’ tips to naturally enhance your beauty via Annmarie Gianni. Give it a read!

I will leave you with this because I thought it was funny:



It’s in the stars

noun: astrology; noun: natural astrology; noun: judicial astrology
  1. the study of the movements and relative positions of celestial bodies interpreted as having an influence on human affairs and the natural world.

Astrology has always blown my mind a little. I’m not talking about those generalized could-be-applicable-to-anyone horoscopes that get sent to your phones or that you read in the newspaper… that’s a bunch of malarkey and you know it. I’m talking about the idea that our personalities are somehow at least a little predetermined by the time of year we were born. That because I am a Scorpio, I’m predisposed to certain personality traits that I share with other Scorpios. That there may be a part of me that involuntarily reacts to a situation based solely on how the stars were aligned on the day of my birth. Like, think about how CRAZY that actually is?

I guess my post on the new moon may have sparked my serious interest in this kind of stuff, because there was a new moon last night and not only did I read about it, but I embraced the hell out of it. And the night was alive. Terminal Tower was lit up my favorite shade of purple, the Browns crushed the AFC rival Bengals 24-3, the beer went down smooth, all my friends were giving off good vibes, and I slept so damn peacefully. Was this spectacular evening concocted all in my head because I read that article on what to expect with the night’s full moon? Or were the stars really aligned in all of our favors (minus you Bengals fans)? I don’t even know. I just know this morning I read this BuzzFeed post giving 23 characteristics of a Scorpio and it seriously tripped me out (there’s that 23 number again, too… WUT). I just want to send it to everyone I know and be like, HERE. READ. UNDERSTAND ME. APPARENTLY I HAVE NO CONTROL WHATSOEVER OVER HOW I THINK/ACT/FEEL.

Do we have as much control over our actions as we think we do? Or are we prompted to act based on the movements and positions of these celestial bodies… where they are located in this instant, and where they were located when we first entered the world?

Am I just buying into the hype? Is a deeper study of astrology nothing more than that generalized could-be-applicable-to-anyone crap they put in the Sunday paper? Was last night awesome because I made it that way?

I don’t think we’ll ever find a real answer. But it’s kind of cooler that way.

New Moon in Libra

I’m constantly shifting between believing I’m fine, and thinking that one little thought that takes over my mind and makes me feel like my progress is futile. I hear a song I’ve never heard before, randomly pop up on my Pandora station, speaking out to me… “And it seems you’ve disappeared, though you’re not that far away/Please tell me it’s not true, I didn’t mean that much to you/What did I do wrong? Nothing, I treated you like an angel,” and I think, what the fuck universe? Why are you giving me this shit? I immediately paste the lyrics into an e-mail and save as a draft I know I’ll never send. I know I just need more time, but as I’m waiting and waiting to feel better, I can’t help but think I’m wasting precious time. Time I could be spending enjoying my life, my friends, my family, or my awesome apartment (that is finally coming together and feeling like a home).

Enter: New Moon in Libra, tonight– actually, September 24th at 2:14 am EST to be exact. I have this amazing, beautiful friend named Erin, who is passionately into topics such as self-love, healing and astrology, and I seek advice/words from her often because I love and respect what she has to say. [Side note, I also just ordered her book, Notes on Healing and Clarity here on Amazon, which I can’t wait to read.] Anyway, she mentioned it being a New Moon in Libra and I asked for more info, knowing that new moons generally relate to transformation and regeneration (which means good news for me). She directed me to this link. There were some words in here, specifically from an astrologer named Robert Wilkinson’s piece entitled Aquarius Papers, that truly resonated with me and keep me hopeful for the future:

“Over the next 4 weeks, the New Moon in Libra introduces us to a time of new inspiration through transfiguration, with Venus bringing gentle beauty and appreciation to all we attempt.
“This will be a productive New Moon, with a promise that the scales of justice will be balanced as we see how connected we truly are to the life that’s all around us!
“This New Moon in Libra is idealistic, initiating, balancing, and challenges us to put ourselves out there and show others our training or how we’ve mastered our lower nature…”
“…Very big changes in how we do and do not mesh with the collective will be in motion, and some will find allies with whom they can cooperate in a greater destiny involving a collectivity of people.
“…right now we have Mercury quintile both Jupiter and Pluto, and Jupiter biquintile Pluto. This activates 3 points of a 5 Pointed Star pattern, showing high specialization where unique qualities can come forth, or specialized conditions will allow for unique gifts that are perfect for whatever is needed in that situation. Given that Jupiter is part of the very powerful Grand Fire Trine in the making these next several weeks, it’s time to get inspired and light up the sky of our life! 
“This idealistic, interactive, joyous, balancing and uniquely gifting New Moon occurs at 2 Libra on September 23, 2014, at 11:14 pm PDT, September 24 at 2:14 am EDT, and 7:14 am BST…”
“As I said, this will be an initiating, refining, practical, efficient, gifting and destiny-shaping New Moon, and we will all be tested to show our self-discipline as we identify with a larger sweep of cycles and evolution. With so many favorable aspects and only one minor frictional one, these next 4 weeks should be unique, productive, and favorable for those who have overcome their sense of separateness or isolation.”
“Many of the gifts and unique conditions promised by this New Moon will show us new ways of linking our perception to our imagination, especially regarding seed-forms to be developed with patience and maturity. Many who have endured tough situations, disappointments, and relentless or manipulative people will find rewards for having done the right thing despite difficult circumstances.
“…Saturn in Scorpio continues to put a focus on eliminating stagnant feelings and responses, finding appropriate boundaries and a sense of responsibility for our magnetism as we continue to shed various ‘skins of personality.’ This Lunation shows Saturn with few powerful aspects, indicating it will be one force in the Neptune ‘forks in the road of destiny’ that the world is facing at present.
“Scorpio helps us make choices about what to eliminate, what to regenerate, and how to let go of all that we don’t want nor need to take with us into the future.
“…Saturn continues to help us see a) how we have shifted our magnetism on relationships since last Summer, and/or b) how we need to find a new view or way of understanding the losses and eliminations of the past we’ve been through. Now we’re flowing into a long wave period of finding the right focus to allow inspiring teachings to transform our daily lives. 
“…So while we all get a joyous break from the pandemic friction in some really productive and unique ways, just keep relying on the emotional intelligence and stability you’ve cultivated since last Summer, and as always, show patience.”

Just something for all of you to keep in mind tonight when you fall asleep. Happy New Moon 🙂