Let’s be real, I only read, like, half of the books I planned on reading this summer because Netflix and chill got the best of me after a long day at work.

After watching every season offered of Criminal Minds, House of Cards, Orange is the New Black, and The Mindy Project; revisiting Blue Mountain State and How I Met Your Mother; and being five and a half seasons deep in the six season show The League, I’ve pretty much exhausted both my Netflix and Hulu accounts (ok, so they’re not actually my accounts… but who pays for that shit anyway?! Mike, I really hope you’re not reading this because I love that you pay for my TV and that was just me trying to be funny). Who swoops in to save the day? Fall TV, of course!!

Here’s a list of what I’m returning to watch, what I can only describe as guilty pleasures, and new shows I’m giving a chance:

Returning Shows

Scandal

If you’re not watching Scandal, you should be watching Scandal. Seriously, like, what are you thinking? It’s addicting, it’s educational, and it’s probably more like what goes on behind closed doors at the White House than you could ever imagine. It returned for its fifth season, and why is it on its fifth season? Because it’s amazing: the people love it, and we’re so invested in the presidency, the affairs, and, well, literally the scandals. While some might argue the show may have jumped the shark during season 4, I think this show has real staying power with the character development and if, once the story lines feel stale and/or played out, they stick to focusing more on the “crisis-a-week” side and throw in only a few personal story lines, kind of like how Law and Order: SVU has stayed relevant through all the years.

[Scandal–Thursdays at 8pm on ABC]

How to Get Away with Murder

While we’re on Shondra Rhimes, let’s talk about this show. More importantly, how season 1 is now on Netflix and season 2 has just started (and new episodes are on Hulu) so you have no reason not to catch up! What Scandal does for thirty-somethings and politics, How to Get Away with Murder does for twenty-somethings and law school. Initially introducing a “case-a-week,” a deeper, more crazy story line developed right before our eyes throughout the season. Shonda is a freakin’ genius, man. It’s pure gold. All the actors are pretty much gorgeous, too, making the show super easy on the eyes. I’m extremely interested to see where this show goes in its second season.

[How to Get Away with Murder–Thursdays at 9pm on ABC]

The Mindy Project

You all know how obsessed I am with Mindy Kaling, right? While Fox so graciously canned The Mindy Project and didn’t pick it up for a fourth season earlier this year, Hulu stepped in to save the day. From the very first episode of this show, I knew I’d love it. Mindy is every woman who’s ever felt desperate, who’s ever tried serial dating, and (something I can really relate to) being generally awkward in all facets of life. Season 4 started streaming on Hulu two weeks ago, and I can already tell this season is going to be a change of pace; but it’s one the show needs. One can only take awkward dating and sex scenes for so long before you have to add some variety. I’m anxious to see where the show will go but also weary that it may jump the shark.

[Btw, I’ve used that term twice now. I only learned the meaning, like, last year… but when a show jumps the shark it means it “reaches a point at which far-fetched events are included merely for the sake of novelty, indicative of a decline in quality.” You’re welcome.]

[The Mindy Project–New Episodes every Tuesday on Hulu]

Guilty Pleasures

Law and Order: SVU

I purely keep up with this show because new episodes come out on Hulu every week. And I can’t watch marathons on USA anymore because a) I don’t have cable and b) even if I did I’m pretty sure I’ve seen every single episode at least three times over. This is like a sick addiction that I just can’t break. Even after you take away my Elliot Stabler and my Nick Amaro… I don’t know why I keep coming back, but I do.

[Law and Order: SVU–Wednesdays at 9pm on NBC]

America’s Next Top Model

Can you believe this show is on CYCLE 22?! And they are now letting not only plus-sized people, short people, AND MEN into the competition?! Also this season they have a deaf guy because Tyra is seriously a saint. The show has certainly come a long way since I was 13 watching it on UPN (and the winner of the first season went on to marry one of the brothers from The Brady Bunch, remember?? And then they went on all these stupid reality shows and I’m pretty sure they’re already divorced). So obviously when I found out new episodes play on Hulu, I couldn’t pass it up! And it is now my guiltiest pleasure because it appeases the 13-year-old girl that still lives in me.

[America’s Next Top Model–Fridays at 9pm on the CW]

Castle

This is a guilty pleasure because though its returning for an 8th season, I recognize the acting is terrible, the story lines are ridiculous, and as such it’s jumped the shark like 324984530 times but yet I still keep watching it. It seriously has a cult following, like, more people are obsessed with it than you think. I think I mostly keep up with it because if I didn’t my mom would just ruin it for me anyway. I blame this addiction on having cable in college, since reruns were always playing on TNT. Cable rots your mind, kids. I’m the perfect example.

[Castle–Mondays at 10pm on ABC]

Shows I’m Giving a Shot

Scream Queens

So there’s only one show on this list, because, if you couldn’t already tell, my TV schedule is pretty full this fall as it is. After hearing such good things after the first episode aired last week, and seeing the cast of characters (Emma Roberts, Jamie Lee Curtis, Nick Jonas, to name a few) and the creators (Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk, creators of both Glee and American Horror Story), I had to check it out. Luckily, the show is on Hulu too (side note: in the fall I use Hulu about 30x more than Netflix because all these shows are on there if I miss them the night they air).

It’s considered a horror-comedy show, which is the best kind of genre. Seriously freaky moments in the premier were lightened by ridiculous humor. Subtle pop culture references made serious arguments become hilarious, and the cameos were perfect. The first two episodes (which aired back-to-back) were seriously amazing. Then a new episode aired this week, and I’m not sure how I feel. I think you can’t top the first two episodes, so maybe that’s where my disappointment is since they set the bar so damn high. It’s definitely a one-season show, and probably could even pass as a mini-series… but I’ll still be tuning in next week to see how this one pans out.

[Scream Queens–Tuesdays at 9pm on FOX]

And there you have it. Proof that in my old age, my mind is going to start to rot. I’ve already accepted it. Now if you’ll excuse me, Scandal starts in 16 minutes.