kc survives roofie island

I was a little hesitant when the general consensus voted in favor of a bachelorette party in Put-in-Bay, due to the recent horror stories arising last year dubbing it “Roofie Island.” Having never been there before myself, I wasn’t entirely confident I could pull this off without a hitch. But, seeing as it was the closest thing to a getaway we have here around Cleveland, I was ready to make this thing happen.

As the Maid of Honor, my duties ranged not only from getting a final head count for the trip (which, for a destination bachelorette party is way more difficult than I ever imagined), to getting all necessary information to the girls attending in regard to departure times, cost, and actually getting to and from the island and making sure everyone had a good time. One thing I am so glad I did was put together full-proof survival kits for everyone going. Here’s what was in them:

“Team Bride” tank tops

A necessity for any bachelorette party. People need to know why you’re down there celebrating, and what better way than to be decked out in tanks. Obviously, the bride had her own tank that said “Bride” along with a veil and sash (and various penis-related items) to separate her from the crowd, but these were a must. Also a pretty good tool to locate your group.

Medicine

I got mini bottles of ibuprofen that were $0.99 a piece at Target, and gave everyone enough Pepto Bismol chewables for the weekend. It not only helped prevent hangovers but helped cure any morning nausea from our long days of drinking. These were probably the most popular items in the survival kits!

Liquid other than alcohol

Water and Gatorade bottles. Because everyone was so worried about all the liquor they were bringing, no one was paying attention to rule number one… STAY HYDRATED! Especially after a long night of drinking and a long day drinking in the sun.

Protein bars

So our hotel serves a complimentary breakfast…every day except for Saturday. Clearly because it’s the busiest day… but what a kick in the gonads to roll out of bed at 8 am looking forward to a free meal and finding nothing. The protein bars helped stave off the hangry while we sipped stale coffee and started to plan out our day.

Chewing gum

Because sometimes your rank ass breath needs it after a long day and night of binge drinking.

Mini sunscreen

Perfect for our long day at the pool on Saturday, the mini sunscreens came in super handy for the face! Clearly, I didn’t bring mine to the pool and burned the hell out of my nose. It only just now looks half way normal.

Other miscellaneous knick knacks

Cheap sunglasses just in case someone broke or lost a pair, small samples of perfume and makeup and Mardi Gras beads just for the hell of it.

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My voice still isn’t entirely back, and I’m pretty sure multiple people now have pictures of me bonging a beer out of a dick-shaped beer bong, but all in all it was a great weekend.

Protip: Always keep your thumb over the opening of your beer while you’re dancing, honor the buddy system with your girlfriends at all times, and be aware of your surroundings. Then you, too can enjoy a weekend in Put-in-Bay without being roofied!!!!!

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