Sometimes, when I open a brand new bottle of shampoo, I am so assured that there is more than enough to go around in that bottle; I have no problem using a generous amount all at once. I’ll squeeze an unnecessary glob of it into my hands; give myself one of those shampoo mohawks like Emma Stone did in Easy A. But, when that bottle of shampoo has an ounce or two left in it, a switch flips in my brain. Once the switch is flipped, you better believe I will use the tiniest amount ever and try and make those last drops last as long as humanly possible. Isn’t it weird how we do that?

Why do we do that? Why use something so copiously to start when in the back of our minds we know there is a finite amount of it? And then all of a sudden know exactly how to conserve it when there is barely any left? How else do we practice this sick habit within our own lives? Friendships, family, relationships…? FOOD AND VARIOUS NETFLIX SERIES?! It is only when our shampoo is down to its final droplets that we realize we may have been taking advantage of it up until this point.

Maybe it’s just me. To be honest I’ve had some wine tonight. But you can’t tell me that’s not fucked up how humans are naturally inclined toward that line of thinking.

I don’t want to know if that was a piece of cork or a bug in my wine.