I have been really hesitant to put my feelings for LeBron James out there on the internet, mostly because everyone has something to say and certain opinions may not be as popular as others. However, with his decision anywhere from minutes to days away, I figure now is as good a time as any to put my two cents in on the whole situation. It’s not simple for me… the question is, “How do you feel about LeBron maybe returning to the Cavaliers?” The answer should be a quick “Love it” or “Hate it,” right? In my opinion, it’s not that easy.

My disdain for him began, along with most of my city, in 2010… after he (or his “publicists”) thought it would be a good idea to announce–on a 75-minute time slot on ESPN–which team his future in the NBA would be with. His own team in Cleveland did not even know what decision he was going to make until just minutes before the show aired. I thought it was tacky. Cleveland fans compared his so-called betrayal as second to Art Modell moving the Browns to Baltimore. I thought the guy was more interested in people hyping over him than he was passionate about the game. I thought the NBA was rigged; orchestrating a power team in the Miami Heat that would dominate like when the Bulls had MJ. I thought it was dumb. And at that moment I was over LeBron… didn’t even hate or talk shit, just didn’t pay him any attention. Got a little satisfaction (as any betrayed Cleveland fan would) when the whole “Cavs 4 Mavs” started his first trip to the finals as a Miami Heat player (and the Heat lost to the Dallas Mavericks, as they should have).

So now that there is all this hype regarding if LeBron is going to return and be the hometown hero, I’m somewhat torn. My pride says no, I don’t want him back. But my passion, passion for my city and passion for my team, that tells me I’d be a fool to want him to go anywhere else. The Heat was supposed to have put together an unstoppable front, the “Big 3” of James, Wade and Bosh. Their “powerhouse” team went 2 and 4 for championships in the last four years, so, yes, I think LeBron is over it too.

At this point for Cavaliers fans, it goes beyond what he did to us and onto what he can do for us–that is, hopefully, bring Cleveland a championship. He seems to be going about it with a little more class than he did four years ago: not saying a word to media and meeting with his own team execs well in advance, before he makes his announcement (which will likely come from his own website, LeBronJames.com). With as quiet as he has been, though, the media and the general public are going batshit crazy.

Am I still sour about The Decision? I mean, yea… but I guess he was young and stupid and just wanted to be the greatest of all time. Do I respect that? Yes. Do I think people who burned his jersey 4 years ago that are now hoping he comes back are ridiculous? Kind of. Am I going to boycott my team or my city if LeBron wants to come back? Absolutely not. Am I ready to welcome him back to Cleveland with open arms? Well… maybe give me a little bit and we’ll see.

All I know is, with all of this hype going on in Cleveland right now… if he doesn’t end up coming back, he will have a lot of angry Clevelanders, and his kids will probably get the shit kicked out of them in school. So there’s that.

Regardless of the final outcome in all of this, I will always support my city.